Shubhangi a standup comedy artist talks about love as being selfish! She says that ‘your love for something is equally important for your love for someone, you are eventually seeking your own happiness in it.’ Love is what keeps you going in your life & you do it with a smile because you are seeking happiness in your life. Be selfish first before you love somebody! Let’s listen to her podcast and know more about what she feels about ‘love’!
NITIN – Toh doston aaj hai humare saath Shubhangi, s Shubhangi please introduce yourself.
SHUBHANGI – Hi everyone I am Shubhangi, I am 20 and I do standup comedy on weekends and study political science on weekdays.
NITIN – That’s good! So are you passionate about stand up comedy?
SHUBHANGI – Sure, I am! Would really like to have a career. But paise nahi mil rahe hain abhi toh.
NITIN – But I really feel that it’s good that along with your academics you are pursuing something that you are truly passionate about. So since you know that the series of podcasts we are having on Indibaat is about LOVE! So I really want to have your take about love and definitely if you want to add your input in terms of your way of perceiving love, in some sarcasm or in some comic way, yet it’s meaningful. I really feel that a lot of younger people can relate with it. So what’s your take about love.
SHUBHANGI – I don’t really think I am very qualified to speak about love, but in my experience of 20 years I have considered that love is selfish, not selfish in a bad way but in a good way in the sense that through love we only seek happiness. Eventually we are only seeking happiness by loving someone or something. Consider my love for comedy, if it was not for the validation I get on stage I would probably not love it that much. So this validation is for my own happiness which is selfish so my love for comedy is basically selfishness. But not really, it’s not something that I would take in a negative way because eventually it makes me happy and It is very similar for the people we love or the relationships we have with people, like friendships or companionships, eventually we do them for our own happiness right ! when you are friends with someone you expect some particular things from them.
NITIN – Can we add something like? Love basically starts with being into self-love, then if you are not able to love yourself then definitely you cannot love anybody else, be it your work or anybody else in the world. Instead of selfish can we call it self love?
SHUBHANGI – Self love, yes! Of course you have to love yourself for loving others. But I want to equate that – ‘Your love for something is equally important for your love for someone, you are eventually seeking your own happiness in it.’
NITIN – Absolutely!
SHUBHANGI – Have you heard of people making this big gestures? With people they love, like making big sacrifices for them like our parents do. Aur like people in relationships make sacrifices. Like the smallest gestures, if you have ever left the last slice of pizza for someone, do you feel good about it?
NITIN – Yes, I do.
SHUBHANGI – Then you justify it by saying that I love this person and hence I left the slice of pizza?
NITIN – I can but eventually it can be one of the ray, maybe I don’t want to eat pizza and I want to offer it to somebody else.
SHUBHANGI – Consider it in the dimension of loving someone.
NITIN – I think it’s very subjective. But yes, if you do something which is not for yourself, in a way you feel very satisfied.
SHUBHANGI – That’s the thing, you feel satisfied, the satisfaction that you get inside you is for yourself! And not for the other person. Being selfish in love isn’t a bad thing. Because you are eventually doing it for your own happiness. And seeking happiness is not really a flaw. And as a concept love is what keeps us going and it’s what keeps us sticking and so is the pursuit of happiness.
NITIN – Absolutely! So your point is even if you are doing something which is categorically called a sacrifice or compromise and eventually it gives you satisfaction and that means you are being selfish. So let’s say, do you think that falling in love is also being selfish? And will you like to be in that selfishness or not?
SHUBHANGI – I would love to be!
NITIN – You can term it as, being selfish but you like being selfish if you fall in love.
SHUBHANGI – So, my philosophy behind dating people is basically they don’t make me happy, I won’t date them. When you are dating or adding a person to your life it’s for something good and it’s not for being sad for them. Love is what keeps you going in your life & you do it with a smile because you are seeking happiness in your life.
NITIN – Yes! That’s one of the ways of understanding pyaar ki paribhasha. Thank you Shubhangi for being with us. I really feel that people can relate with it and take lesson from it that, be selfish first before you love somebody!
SHUBHANGI – Thank you so much for having me.
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